Salve Calculus! You unctuous mink
For years I have attempted to absorb
You Talmudic procedures (which stink)
And Having tried, I’m still outside your orb.
I have fumbled all you equations
Perpetually fobbing my signs – Oh please
These infinitesimal variations
Are about as handy as my dogs flees
When will I take the first, second, or third
Derivative of this wacky function?
All these choices have become quite absurd!
I hope I don’t jump to an assumption
That will lose my half a mark or two. Why
Am I so afraid of dx/dy?